My ADHD-blog

How I feel

Pretty much as yesterday.
Today I don't have so much time, and I wrote yesterday a long story.
So I keep it short.

Complains/Side effects

Dry mouth, very tired and today for the first time also pain in my stomach.
But that was my own fault.
I always eat breakfast before I take Strattera.
Today we had a birthday party, so I only took a peace of cake.
That was not a good idea, becauseI walked around with pain in my stomach for almost the whole day.
I hope that that was the reason, because I sure don't
want to have a stomachflew or something.

ADHD effects

No difference then the other days.
So for those of you who follow my blog daily,
It's a nice short simple blog today.

PS: I hear sometimes from people that they bookmark and/or follow me (if possible) daily.
It will be nice to hear from you to, if your are one of those people!

Have a nice weekend! I will have to work, but I got a very interesting soundbook
where I can listen to while i'm working ( read driving a car)

Hejdå!

How I feel

Good , but not happy.
I just wrote a whole story but I didn't save it. :-(
And now it is gone.
So I have to start all over again.
I feel good, also because I just to my meds, Strattera.
It always takes a while before it starts to work.
I know when it starts to work, because I feel when the side effects start.
I'm one of the lucky ones I think.
Because I have read allot of stories from people who have tried Strattera.
And they had pain going to the toilet or making out.
Pain in the stomach, could not get out of bed etc.
I 'only' have a dry mouth the whole day and a weak feeling in my legs.
The weak feeling in my legs are the worst because it makes you so unbelievable tired.
But if I have to choose,
then I rather have this tiredness then the constant pressure and stress
what I felt before I started with Strattera.
Sometimes I feel it , the stress and this hunted feelings, coming up.
Then I realize how I use to feel without the meds.
So yes, if I look back to how I felt and how I feel now,
then I'm happy with the results until now.

Of course I was also very lucky that I could join the cognitive test team
on the same time as I started with Strattera.

Complains/ side effects

The same as the ones in the last days.
So why repeat it all right?

ADHD effects

As I wrote above, I think I'm allot calmer with Strattera then before.
I always was so stressed, day in day out 24 hours a day.
Sometimes I had a calm day, without knowing why.
But normally I was not normal.
The best way to describe this stress is to compare it to the following situation:

Your about to go to your work, you have a important meeting.
If you come to late you will loose a deal what the company can not afford to loose.
This means that if your to late everybody will loose their job.
You know that, but your late now anyway.
You are trying to do everything you can to be on time.
But it's to late already, you know your 'normally' can't make it.
Your run and hurry as much as you can, you almost can't stand the pressure.

Well that's the stress feeling someone with ADHD has the whole day, 24 hours a day.
Because of this stress you forget allot of things and you can't concentrate.
Maybe this example give a little more understanding on how i or some one else
with ADHD feels the whole day.
I write this so people without ADHD can understand a little better what goes on in someone who has ADHD.
Not so you can and/or will feel sorry.
I don't need people around me who feel sorry, that's at least last thing I need.

It's not easy, but very interesting! I never have a boring day!
The most bad part is that I hurt or can be to much for the people close to me.
I never want to hurt others, especially not the ones around me.
But that happens, and that I hope to be able to reduce to zero.
as soon as I can.

If it wasn't for my ADHD I would never have heard of cognitive therapy.
But I came to know about it and just a while ago I had my first appointment with my Coach.
Yep you don't call them a Therapist but a Coach.

You might think, what's in a name?

Well in this case allot.
Because a therapist is learning you things.
If you can't walk anymore they teach you and help you how to walk.
If you can't talk anymore they teach you and help you to talk again.
But a Coach is different, they don't teach you 'old' things again.
They help you and motivate you to find a way to handle the practical
handicaps you experience as a result of ADHD.

Because if you have ADHD like me, you know what your 'suppose' to do.
But somehow between knowing it and doing it there is an error.
You can't, no matter how much you want and how much you try.

It's so hard to explain.
Maybe I should ask my wife to explain how she experiences me.
Then you as a non ADHD reader would get a better understanding I think.
Yep I think I will ask her if she wants to write about that.

To give a few examples:

I'm having a big chaos in my head.
They say you can see a human's soul in how his room/office looks.
Well if you see my office then you know there is a truth in that.
I can't fool myself saying that I don't mind having such a chaos in my office.
Because I love to be in my wife's office.
It's light, nice, fresh and above all, NO chaos!
If I ask her if she can look up a paper from 2 years ago, then she walks to
a place, picks out a map and shows me that paper!
She is so amazing! And she is strong to!
Believe me, I know! To be able to love me is not so hard.
I am a nice ,sweet and caring guy. But to keep on loving me,
and to go on wanting to live with me,
that's another thing! Because she can ask me to do something.
I can say yes, and then one minute later I totally forget it again.
That can happen many times, and I still forget.

That can go on for a long time, with allot of things.
Day in ,day out.............