My ADHD-blog

Cognitive therapy it doesn't work.........yet.

I was maybe a little to positive about results.
But men it is hard to keep up.

As I wrote earlier, I made a schedule with my coach on how to start the day.
You can read in one of my other postings how my day usually starts.
That's my life, well, that was my life.
Now I'm seriously trying to keep up this new schedule we made.
But it is sooooo hard!
I don't think it is easy to understand for someone who do not have ADHD.
Because 'normal' people have an automatic routine every morning.
I don't, my start of the day is different every day again.
The only thing what is the same is the chaos.
The chaos in my head and the chaos in my actions.

But I can't and wont give up!

I can only go on, and work even harder on myself then before.
Because nobody else will do it for me.
Nobody else can do it for me, I will have to do it all myself.
And it's possible, and even easier now when I get tips and encouragement's
from my coach.
Because of her I started also to realize that I did know I have ADHD.
But that I still didn't accept that I needed help.
Even when I knew I needed help and couldn't wait to get started.
I'm still working on it, but I chose to accept that now.

And it's fun to though!

Because since I'm in this test project now with cognitive therapy,
I also get to test new ways, tips ,tricks and programs that I can test.
Now I'm testing a new software prgram that is called COMAI.
It's a calendar that is adjusted for people with problems like ADHD.
It works on a computer and a mobile phone.
It's not on the market yet, and I have just tested the installation.
That went good but I didn't get any further.
Because after I installed it, I couldn't open the program.
So I can't say really anything yet about the program.
I'm waiting for the new repaired version and hopefully that works.
I love new technical stuff and communications.
This is both, so it's great that I can test it.

I also got a magnet board.

With a week schedule on it.
So you can plan each weeks on this board and have a good overview.
I only have the same problem with that as with other help and planning products.
It has to become a lifestyle to use it.
That takes 6 weeks at least, I normally don't have that patience.
But if I want to get a grip of my life I will have to go on.

I hope more people will read and follow my blog.

Especially those who have the same kind of problems.
Because I was a hopeless case, but I will make something of my life.
I will not only be better, I will be successful! In love, life and business.
So if you keep following me, and you see that I succeed, you know that you can to!
Because I'm a normal regular guy, just like you.

How I feel

Pretty good.
Although I missed 3 days of writing, so I will write about them all in this posting.
But I have been keeping it up daily for 24 days, that's a record for me!
So I'm still happy with that, but of course I haven't given up.
I will be serious again from now on.
It's hard, very hard, but I refuse to let ADHD rule my life.
My goal is to have a good live, despite my ADHD.
I will be successful with my relationships, my work, my own companies etc.
I feel like I don't have a grip on my life, but I will get that back.
I want and will get control back over my own life.
ADHD or not, I will not only survive, I will have a constant daily victory!
Because if I don't believe in myself, who will?
Well I have to admit that I could never be this strong without God in my life.
And my wife, I give her allot of headaches, but she is always there for me.
Really if it wasn't for God and my wife, I don't know what I would have for a life!

Complains/side effects

The usual ones: Dry mouth, weak in the legs that makes me so tired,
although that is getting better and better.
Sweating' s, really it's already April, but we still have snow outside.
Although it is starting to melt now.
But everybody is walking in winter jackets, when I get this sweating 's I have
to take of my jacket, and walk around in my shirt. Otherwise I'm getting crazy.

ADHD effects

Like I wrote earlier, I feel a difference.
But not as much as I hoped for, but allot better then before.
Normally I had this stress and hunted feeling 24 hours a day.
But now that is gone, well most of the times.
But I still have a hard time not getting irritated so quickly.
I still have a hard time listening.
I still have a hard time to start thinking before I react on what others say.

You know I had a attitude most of my life.
I was expecting people not to like me.
And if they did, they could still not be long around me.
That did not happen all the time, but most of the times.

But that still has an effect on my life now.
Then I did not understand why people found it so hard to be around me.
Now I am allot wiser, first of all do I know now that I have ADHD.
That explains not only my problems I had in life, but also how people responded on me.
And why they could not be to long around me, or simply didn't like me.
I was not easy to be around with. In that times I felt sorry for myself and blamed others.
Theo few friends I did have, them I really appreciated and was very thankful for those friendships.

Now, since I know better I don't blame others anymore.
I also don't blame myself, but just try to make the best of it.
And enjoy the talents I do have.
Not all of them, because producing and hosting radio programs
was a job I did for many years in Holland.
My Swedish is not good enough so I don't do it here in Sweden.
I don't have so much time anymore with a fulltime job and
2 own companies. But still that is where I am really good in.
So I am still dreaming that I can get paid for making an English
Gospel program on radio. Not the typical gospel programs you might think of now.
I never made those standard programs, I always had my own way of hosting a show with
spontaneous talks, good music and some humor.
Well who know it might still happen, right?

Grrrreeeaaatttt news!

I just installed a chatprogram on my blog.
So if you would like to chat directly with me,
then just click on the button on the right when if I'm online!
If the button is green then I'm online.
If it is red then I'm offline.

This is your change to ask me things directly!
But it will only work when I'm online.
So let me know when you will be online (European time)
Then I will try to be there also!

Chat you later!

Theo